I feel like venting

Soooo...idk where my head is right now. I just feel like rambling on about stuff in my life. You down to listen to what my heart gatta say? Well yesterday I went on a roadtrip to see my girlfriend and my cousin linda. Well it was like the perfect timing you know? Like everything was down kinda, like slowly falling apart in a way, relationship and my life. School has been ok as usual. Fam is fam. Friends, I don't fuck with friends anymore. Life is kinda just a waste of time for me now. There's really no point the way I see it. I mean whose ganna miss me if I'm ganna be a lost memory to them sooner or later. I just wanna leave here and go somewhere for years and years to come. Idk what's really wrong with me. I want this I want that, I need that cause I'm into streetwear, I need to waste my money on shit I don't need, I want to have every little thing that I know I'm not ganna get...I always reach for the finer things in life...I never really get what I want. I mean yeah my life is ok I don't know why I'm complaining, yeah I have a great girlfriend, yeah everything is really ok at this moment. But I always keep in the back of my mind "Nothing is the way it seems. It's too good to be true". It's just that I don't know why though. I could have the best days of my life, but always at the end of the day I'm always contemplating about how things really are. How and why things happen how people really feel, this and that, that and this. Something is always wrong with me. Like it's either I overthink or that I know it's ganna happen I'm just waiting for it kinda mood. Ahhhh fuck...what is wrong with me right now....like idk what to think idk how to feel idk why idk why idk whyyyy....like I know something is ganna happen to me soon to break me....into pieces.."Forever forever ever? Forever ever?" Haha music always make it better for me. But I'm getting off subject it's just blah....I know something big is ganna happen soon I know it. I'm just waiting. I don't think nobody would really understand me. That's why I keep most things to myself and never tell anybody, even when I'm scared. I'm scared a lot though, and of a lot of stuff. No one understands. I always feel.....alone when I'm not. Blah I'm fucking out of it today. I won't feel like this for long...or possibly yeah.
7 months with baby is almost here though! Ever since 9.24.09 I love you though baby <3
School is almost out and summertime road trips here I come ;]
And.....yeah...1

"Just know me baby"

So check this, I just read all my blogs and I was like WOW I really spill a lot out when I write these. Like I read my last one and I was like wtf the last blog? Fuck that I'ma keep writing blogs every now and then haha. I love keeping up to date and expressing myself feel me? So hmmm it's been awhile like a long assss time and a lot happened. Spring breakk like shit lmao. It was amazing. It always is when I get to see my baby <3 we made things better waaaaayyy better. But now since I came back it's like we got way more to worry about and we're getting mad at each other more often, even me -__- oh well. A lot happened over there though. I met like her whole family it was cute haha. I just love seeing her grandma though. She like dropped her groceries and ran to give me a hug LOL <3 awwww grandma haha. Not only that but I made some new friends too. Like my nigga Deeeee for example haha plus I met all those other people and blah haha. But me and Julissa gotten closer...like a lot more way closer LOL it's cute though. It's funny too how just a day or two can bring us closer together. She's just amazing. I just hope we can make it last a lifetime. I'm really sure about this relationship though. Like idk I just know for a fact you know? Haha but we've been arguing like blahhh dam! Too much for me, it's ok though. I'm just hella worried about.....yeahhhhhh that's our little secret. But yeah mmmm lemme change subjects though yeah? School school school. It's been good. I'm ganna pass for sure I know it haha with hopefully Cs and higher this year lol I just can't wait til I graduate though I can just smell it haha. Hmmm dam I don't even feel like typing anymore I'm tired as shit. LMFAO hopefully baby will call me :] <3 I'll add more to this later. One.